Currently, I've lost mein pants. Stangely enough they were removed from mein legs when I down for mein bi-weekly nap. I checked around mein house und couldn't find any sign of intrusion. Clearly no one came in. Where did mein pants go? The last thing a recall was Wilford Brimley lecturing me about the benefits of Liberty Medical whilst slobbering into mein bowl of Quaker Oatmeal. While all that was going on, in the corner of mein eye there was a midget dancing by himself in the corner if the kitchen. I remember saying, 'Wilford? Do you need to abuse me in such way?' He proceeded to bitchslap me like I was Tina Turner und he was Ike.
Then Francisco Franco stormed in brandishing a rolling pin und proceeded to grab Wilford Brimley by the ear und drag him out of mein haus hitting him on the head which just left me und the midget... alone. Damn that midget was creepy. He just kept dancing und staring at me. Then all of a sudden I didn't feel creeped out that bad. Because it had struck mein mind that I was someone he could look up to.
All of a sudden I heard a comotion outside the window. I checked und I saw Jesus giving directions to a young couple on a Sunday drive. I did a very nice painting of what it. I think I might sell it.
Til again.
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